The Process
My story.
The Audacity of AutismÂ
How dare autism disrupt my fairy tale vision of motherhood
How dare it make me question everything
How dare autism make me blame myself
How dare it won’t look at me
How dare autism want every ounce of my being
How dare it put a spot light on guilt
How dare autism be loud
How dare it ask me to be quiet
How dare autism expect everything in it’s place
How dare it pee all over the bathroom floor
How dare autism not want to poop in the toilet
How dare it smear it on the walls
How dare autism require my undivided attention
How dare it not say thank you
How dare autism break things in a fit of frustration
How dare it expect a new one in its place
How dare autism harm itself
How dare it expect me to fix everything
How dare autism keep me up all night
How dare it expect me to be calm
How dare autism not give me all I expected
How dare it be different than I imagined
How dare autism be confusing
How dare it be magical
How dare autism be my every day
How dare it be the thing that woke me up
How dare autism be on my mind all the time
How dare it be my purpose
The audacity of autism
The audacious nature it of it
The audacity of autism.
A glimpse into my work.Â
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"At 4:48 a.m., the scream shattered the silence. Nina Alvarez dropped the box of art supplies she decided to bring at the last minute onto the front porch and rushed back inside. She found Bodhi sprawled on the kitchen floor, his hands clamped over his ears, and his body slashing around uncontrollably. He threw his communication device across the room as it skidded beneath the table, its screen cracked, flashing against the hardwood."
~ Pieces by Aria ZuloagaÂ
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